Jargon Galore
As an MBA, jargon should be coming out of my ears and I know lots of people who love doing that. Now jargon are useful but over the past few months I have started finding it really amusing when people fit in one jargon-in every line they speak.
So while appending "business" (as in business process or business logic or for than matter even Business Analyst) is passe here are some of the "it" jargon I keep coming across
1. End-of-the-day: Now many people have been using this as "End-of-the-day..." but seriously, nothing happens at the end of the day, we just go home :)
2. Pipeline: Ah.. the favorite line of managers in IT, have been hearing this for years now..we have a strong pipeline of projects, when basically we might not have anything in hand right now and the future can be blamed on a strong engineering structure which although strong might be leaking
3. Leverage: I DON'T "USE" my expertise.. I"LEVERAGE" it :D, sometimes I just wish to leverage such people out of this world
4. problem statement: I DON'T understand "objectives".. I understand only "problem statements"
5. agile mode: Inspired from the agile methodology of software development, our bosses want us to work in the "agile" mode, which basically means I turn in his work super fast and not that I can run at 40 KMPH
6. touch-base: Now this one was a real shocker when I first heard a female senior manager use this.."I will touch base with him"..I mean touch what... base...?? base means bottom..touch what !!!! and there I thought whether it a series of levels in which one gets intimate with one's partner..first base..second base..touch base!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thankfully I realised quickly that it is just used to contact someone like maybe over the phone :D
7. deep-dive: I will NOT just study the finance sector, I will in fact "conduct a domain deep-dive" in the finance sector. As if, after a whole day spent googling, I will return to shore with pearls of knowledge like a deep sea diver. :D Once a document I prepared was not considered insightful enough to be considered a dive, so I just went ahead and named it a "dip" :D..ab samandar mein dive nahi mara toh kya hua...swimming pool mein dubki to lagaya
I request my readers to post their favorites. Cya until next post.
3 comments:
that was really hilarious...especially touch-base. i remember speaking to my HR for the first time and she kept repeating touch base with this one and that one. And i thought people in Chennai really liked bottoms :D :D
anyway, my boss'favourite line is "you know where i am coming from" and "let's take a step back"..not exactly jargons but then so oft repeated that i know when he is going to say it in a meeting!
Few others: 'massage the data', 'slice and dice'(data related again), Manhours- cumulative time spent on coding, bug fixing, fwding jokes, pictures and 2MB videos that come as attachments!
awesome birju...u have come back after a hiatus and how!
my best...
at NITIE was this "holistic approach"
2 yrs at NITIE and I still dont understand wat it means.
baaki to in my line of work...direct hindi abuses work as well
Most common FMCG Jargon
Mota Moti - So Mota Moti what we are trying to say is that blah blah blah
Net Net - When one finsihes using all the Jargon that he or she has, then they use Net Net to summarize it by saying Net Net (read as..so all this Jargon now means :D) and then the Blah blah
I think we can categorize these things by sectors now :D
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